Getting It Bent

A wonderful Sunday today has been. Slept in a little (only a little);  got lots of laundry done (much needed);  spent some quality time with my own DVD (good for the soul). Tonight, I had a good tennis exercise and came back to dormitory to dinner being made for me by the aforementioned ‘step mother’. Yummy!

Terms and conditions: have you ever had a friend that you feel closed so much but you have had to ‘cut loose’ for your own sanity? Or someone who dumped you as a friend even though you know you did nothing wrong? You feel a strange sense of loss, is that weird?

So, I’m going to make it straightforward. What is a best friend? Someone who stays by your side when no one else will. Someone you can laugh with, act silly with, and know that no matter what you do they will not judge you, and will love you. Someone who loves you enough to call out the lies in your life, and not let you stay the way that you are. Someone who always has your back. Someone who understands what you’re going through without you having to even articulate one word of how you’re feeling. They can just look at you…and know you.

Honestly, I’m not sure there is anyone in my life that I can call that in exact term. I mean, I have acquaintances. Lots of them (almost 1500 of them according to Facebook). I thank God for the handful of people that He has brought into my life that have become my close, dear friends. But sometimes I wonder if YOU, the one who reads my blogs, are my best friends. You know some of the most innermost, intimate feelings of my heart and mind. Writings that I don’t verbally express to the people I come into contact with daily. But YOU…you get a glimpse of them.

People grow, every one of us looks for a better manifestation, then transform into a permissive version of greatness. It is normal, it is a life stable form, you should have the experience of it!

Yes, people change and fight all the time (similar with what is beautifully happening between cat and dog – see picture). Sometimes there is a valid reason, sometimes it is misunderstanding and sometimes it is totally unnecessary. A lot of people waste time fighting with each other over petty things instead of sorting it out. We fight, and quarrel, and misunderstand each other for many times. That is normal, we are human!

There is a little secret between us – something so amazing, so miraculous and so wonderful – that we should share it with everyone we know once we learn it. The secret is that there is nothing that others can do to really hurt us from the outside when we don’t allow our thoughts to hurt us from the inside. We take care of what is going on in the inside of our minds, hearts and souls, and anything that tries to come at us from the outside can’t have influence on our lives. It takes practice, but we must remember that we are not here to impress others, and others are not here to impress us. We only have control over our own lives and emotions.

We make peace and friends with ourselves and learn to protect all of the tender parts of our souls. There really is just not much that can shake us. Anyone who wants to hurt any part of us really does not belong in our lives – because we are friends with ourselves and we simply do not allow it. So, dear friends, just as we are always learning, it starts with our own self. It starts within. When we do the soul work, we simply do not feel that we need to change others or to put up with abusive behavior because we have learned to not let anything go on inside of us that would hurt us. You are worth taking care of, protecting and being friends with, and peace comes when we do it for our own self.

Overall, the best kind of it is the ones that you share good times with. Someone who always be there to the good times and to the bad times. Someone who can sportively support each other. Someone who can make you laugh is worth a handful who can’t. So often we walk around with the weight of the world on our shoulders. Our bodies become tense and this is a cause for most illnesses. Having humor  is not just a matter of a good time, it is also a matter of living longer. Often when we have a friendship that has lasted a long time you continue to share memories of humorous interactions that you shared. This may be the glue that holds that friendship together.

You show up like the rain poured from the sky: soothing then vanishing! (Ninda Sasmita – a very closed friend of mine)

Right now, I feel like screaming foul at the top of my lungs, but I don’t (actually) scream. I don’t defend myself against mindless speculation. Sink to their level by engaging in the possibility called friendship. History books proved minds don’t sway after a denouncement. It only fueled the fire! But, as you know me really much my dearest friend, you know I won’t do that!  I am certainly not going to be your enemy, ever!

I’m not a verbal processor. I’m an introverted, writing processor. And so, my dearest friend, since I have not written a blog in a few months, I figured I would process with you, and let you in on what is going on lately, between YOU and ME! I never know that I am that bad in this term, I really never know. When it hurts to look back and scares to look ahead, I just can always look beside my shoulders that tons of those memories are always be there even if you already turned out to be different and strange.

If cat and dog could have a heart in solving its own problem and forgiving each other, why on earth could we not? With no doubt, you have changed, my dearest friend. I feel uncomfortable, it is no longer like we used to be (probably a year ago), if you really want to know!

You are so very unpredictable, I miss the old you!


3 thoughts on “Getting It Bent

  1. I think it is just a cycle of friend from close-friend to be a very-best-friend-ever. Each of human being is ever felt this “cycle”. It takes time between you and him/her, can get along together like it used to be. I wish the best for both of you..

    P.S.: I stop staring awhile look the cover photo of your blog. It can stop laughing and said “gak-banget-deh-lo”. lol

  2. We were knowing each other for years but I actually could not predict what matter inspire you to write those words tells about “mind talk”. (Maybe) best friends are some people that has been a part of our life, so we don’t need to text them how lovely they were (everyday) and just letting day goes by normally. In other hand, best friends are human (with their insanity and maturity), processing and getting better (or worst), that is life. Between those two there are couple important things, not about artificial matter but interaction each other, and two words namely demand and supply! So true, believe me. *what I talk about*

  3. haha…Eimiliooo..
    this is a really beautiful post. I love it! To be honest today was not my best day ever, and as i read your story, I just glimpsed back and found most unforgettable memories with all of friends streaming in to my life. Friends always come and (better) never go. but as human beings with own minds and brains, we evolve from experiences.. and that is what makes us change in a certain way. Don’t be sad about the changes, it is life’s most stable form.. we got tons of memories that will keep us together..and the share of future, and everyday troubles.. waiting for your next post, introvert boy! haha

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